I read the book originally written by you both I assume. My wife and I also had to deal with the contraception matter. We have been married 48 1/2 years, experienced 14 pregnancies, eight of which were live births (and still living) while the other six miscarried during the early stages for natural causes unknown. To date we have 22 grandchildren and one great grandson. We had to discuss and agree what we considered a biblical approach since we grew up in evangelical churches which said zero on the subject, probably because silence is easy and comfortable but equals consent, whether intended or not.
After 12 years of marriage we took all contraceptive means to the dump, though today the proper way to dispose of such waste material is at the pharmacy. We never looked back.
I think the rise of contraception was predicated on the perception that the unitive and reproductive functions of the marriage relationship are at cross purposes and one must be suppressed in order to liberate women, assuming the power to decide would remain in their hands.
Regrettably this was not always so. Once in the hands of mankind (includes both sexes) it quickly took away woman's historical reliance on pregnancy as a reason to say "no." With that out of the way, men acquired more power to press their demands.
It also took away her ability to say "yes" to life when the other party, including husbands, said "no." And we now countenance cases in both our countries where women have been murdered for refusing to abort. The government of Canada defeated a motion to legislate against forcing a woman to abort. They claimed it threatens the right to choose. Which means they support the right to kill but if someone forces her to abort, that is her tough luck. So much for choice.
We came to our conclusions through direct study of a broad spectrum of Scripture with no person or church ever having told us anything period. Ultimately we rejected both artificial means of contraception as well as NFP, since both have the same objective in view.
I wrote and article on it, exploring how the dimensions of time and space relate to different approaches and other areas of Scripture which implicitly affirm in favor of the transmission of life.
You are entirely correct that fear is a great de/motivator. How can we afford this? We can't. Could my wife die? Yes she could. Did she accept this? Yes with no fear. The last pregnancy ended in miscarriage when she was age 46 1/2. Our youngest child towers over them - muscle body builder type. He put a pic on facebook of us and him. I added a comment "our baby and the two dwarfs"
Risk of death in childbirth falls 100% on the wife. Most couples who drive to church most often place the husband behind the wheel. If an oncoming car crosses the line, he is first in line for the impact. In industrial deaths, men figure prominently. After WW II with Hitler, there were many thousands of French women who never married because their male counterparts fell on the battlefields of Europe.
Coming west from vacation in the east last summer, a friend in Ontario took us with his group to a nursing home where he plays the fiddle and they do the old time songs that seniors know - I graduated to senior 7 years ago. There were 33 residents in attendance. Seven were men and twenty-six women. Where were the other men? Accommodated by "other arrangements."
We met with opposition from many directions that we could not do this. In the end, faith dispelled the fear, since our lives were in God's hands. We have no fingers to point since we were influenced by no one in the decisions we came to. The only exception would be the fact that the church was silent and should have discussed it as we might have made the same choice that much sooner.
The article I wrote on the subject was to encourage those who wish to be free of societal pressure to contracept but are afraid to "let go and let God." I convince no one of anything, However, I hate pat answers so I have tried to delve into other Scripture passages that do not seem to relate at first glance. Having studied Scripture for over 60 years, it is amazing how thick-headed one can be. I can read a verse a thousand times and one day say "how come I never saw 'that' before? In any case, I wish you well and if you wish any further contact, you are welcome, probably using my email. While I am not native, my email means "He loves me" in the local Cree language here.
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